How To Want it More Than You’re Scared of It

When it comes to your goals, what’s your big why? What’s driving you and bringing purpose to your life?

In 2014, I founded Elite Blog Academy® to help teach other people how to create their own successful, profitable online businesses.

I’ve had a front row seat to so many of awe-inspiring transformations. It’s completely gratifying to witness so many take an idea and turn it into something real and tangible. But,  I am always struck by the one simple thing they all seem to have in common.

It’s a WHY that is bigger than themselves. Click to Tweet

The thing is, when we clarify what our WHY is, it gives us the purpose and the motivation we need to stick to our goals and start creating a life we love.

Confused about where to start?

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Make no mistake—going after big goals and dreams is HARD. It’s scary and frustrating and sometimes even miserable. You will feel like giving up. And that’s exactly why you need to be SO clear about your why.

This was definitely true for Jennifer Marx, a single mom who was desperate to find a new way to work from home so that she could be there for her son.

And then there’s Caroline Vencil who unexpectantly became a teenage mom and wanted a chance to redeem herself and create a better life for her family.

Or Tasha Agruso, who you met in Episode 14– a super-stressed out corporate lawyer who wanted a way to stay home with her 3-year old twins.

Each of these women found their WHY. And, they used their whys as motivation to achieve a level of success beyond their imaginations.

When it comes to your goals, what’s your big why? When we clarify what our WHY is, it gives us the purpose and the motivation we need to stick to our goals and start creating a life we love. Don't miss these 3 steps you need to take to find a WHY bigger than yourself! #eliteblogacademy #doitscaredpodcast #ruthsoukup #findyourwhy

Within a year, Jennifer was earning more than $20,000 a month and was able to pay off her debt and save her family in the process.

Caroline’s big why drove her to put everything she had into completing a course. Within months, the revenue from her website surpassed her husband’s income. She single-handedly changed the trajectory of her family’s life.

And Tasha spent every spare moment she had working on her home decorating website and within 16 months was making enough money to walk away from law forever.

In the end, Jennifer, Caroline, and Tasha succeeded in creating successful businesses because their WHY was bigger than their fear.

Getting crystal clear about your why won’t necessarily make things easier, but it will make the pain worth it. And sometimes that’s enough.

Of course, that might be easier said than done, right?

In Episode 19 of the Do It Scared® Podcast, you will learn some very concrete things you can do—steps you can take—to help you identify your why.

Below is a quick recap of the three steps you need to take to find a WHY that’s bigger than yourself:


Without fail, every single person who overcomes adversity or conquers a fear has a WHY – a reason that motivates them to take action in the first place.

The thing is, we have more control than we think we do when it comes to finding reasons that motivate us to push past our fear. Not all of us have the willpower or the drive to just “decide” to overcome our fear, but we can intentionally seek out inspiration and accountability, and better opportunities.

If you are having trouble connecting with your bigger why or finding the motivation to follow through, it can be helpful to start by putting some safeguards in place that will keep you connected to that sense of purpose.


I was deeply uncomfortable in my own skin and it was negatively impacting my life. For the first time ever, I realized that the way I felt about my physical self-was directly related to my bigger, far more important—and far more motivating—goals of having a great marriage and a successful business.

Once I connected my goal of losing weight and getting in better shape to a higher purpose, I was able to find the motivation to stick with it.

Whatever your goal is, connect it to a larger purpose. Click to Tweet


Once you’ve connected to your higher purpose, it is critically important to keep your WHY top of mind.

Because it is easy to forget, especially when things get hard. And make no mistake—things will get hard! Because anytime you are pursuing a big goal or pushing past your comfort zone, or facing a fear or about to do something really important or really great, that is exactly when things start to get difficult and awkward and painful and very, very real.

Keeping your WHY at the forefront might mean writing out it in a place that you can refer back to frequently. Creating a vision board or writing your WHY on your bathroom mirror, can also be helpful tools to remind you of your WHY.

The point is to make sure you are doing everything in your power to continually connect to your why and keep that higher purpose top of mind. That way, when the going gets tough, you’ll find the motivation to keep moving forward, no matter what.


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  1. Finding your WHY is so incredibly important! My husband and I frequently discuss what our WHY currently is, what it should be, and if we need to change it. Because often our WHY is too weak to last through our challenges.

    Currently, my challenge is to put my voice out in the world even if no one responds at the moment.
    My WHY that is pushing me through is the desire to live my life to it’s fullest potential; living for God. God let me journey through life as a shy individual so I could continuously cultivate my confidence and then share my experiences with those who need to hear the roar of a former shy girl.

  2. Hi Ruth,
    Your writing is always inspiring.
    What you’ve explained in this post is really important to know. If we can’t find our “WHY”, it becomes really impossible to find success in anything.
    In terms of blogging, If we don’t know the “why” for starting a blog, it’ll be really impossible to run and get success in blogging.

    However, thanks Ruth for sharing this nice post.

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