Finding Your Tribe, Creating a Truth Club, and Bringing Your Best Self

When it comes to your online business when was the last time you asked for brutally honest feedback, and were actually open to hearing it?

Because the trend I’ve noticed in a lot of blogging Facebook groups is that people will pretend to ask for feedback, but what they really want is validation and compliments–people to tell them whatever they are doing “looks great” or “sounds awesome,” or is an “amazing idea.”

And let’s be real–it’s not always fun to get called out when we’re do something dumb, or to have one of our ideas shot down. No one loves being told they are missing the mark, or that they might be on the wrong track.

Accountability is one of those things that is sometimes hard to admit we need, but in reality, we always need it WAY MORE than we think we do!

#doitscaredpodcast #truthclub #findyourtribe #meaningfulfriendships #ruthsoukup

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Real accountability looks very different for different people, but it always involves finding the right people. And in my adult life, I  have been lucky enough to create a tribe of women with whom I can always be brutally real, honest, and vulnerable with.

This close group of friends, each smart and funny and real, make up my “Truth Club.” They are the ones who hold me accountable, who aren’t afraid to tell me when I’m wrong, but who also let me know when I’m on the right track. They always keep it real. There is nothing but truth, vulnerability, and authenticity.

And let me tell you that I could not be more grateful for my tribe. I love having people in my life who will tell me the truth, no matter what, and the older I get, the more I realize just how valuable it is to have those type of relationships in my life—friendships that don’t just scratch the surface but foster true accountability. Relationships that make you better.

But here’s the thing—I don’t think that I’m the only one who can or should have a circle of friends like this! You can form a truth club too! In fact, I think you should create your own. We all need accountability—TRUE accountability. People to make us better and inspire us to bring our best selves, every day.

And believe it or not, putting this kind of accountability in place is more doable than it might seem.

On Episode 13 of the Do It Scared® Podcast I will walk you through 3 simple steps to creating your own “Truth Club,” because I don’t think that I’m the only one who can or should have a circle of friends like this! Listen to the whole episode on iTunes HERE or on Google Play HERE. (Or just search for “Do It Scared” wherever you prefer to listen!) You can also visit doitscared.com for more notes from this episode. Never miss a new episode by subscribing on iTunes.

Read below for a quick overview of those 3 simple steps:

WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH IS WHO YOU BECOME

I have heard it said that as humans, we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with, and while that might be overstating it just a little, the reality is that our friendships and relationships do have a significant impact on the way we live our lives, whether we realize it or not.

Let’s say, for example, you work in an office where people tend to be negative and unmotivated, or where the culture includes a lot of complaining and gossip, you will probably, at some point, find yourself complaining and dreading going to work, when you otherwise might enjoy your job.

If the people you surround yourself with don’t operate with a growth mindset—if they aren’t interested in pushing past their comfort zones or trying new things or setting big goals—then it can be tough to find the motivation to do that in your own life, at least on an ongoing basis.

That is why it is so important to find your tribe and surround yourself with people who are keeping you on track and holding you accountable to your own goals and dreams.

FIND YOUR TRIBE.

There are people out there in the world who are YOUR people, ones that will most certainly hold you accountable, who you can be real and authentic with.

But YOU will have to find them.

Actively searching for your tribe will take stepping outside of your comfort zone. It might mean trying new activities— taking a class, attending a conference, connecting in a Facebook group or online forum, joining a book club or the Chamber of Commerce or maybe even Toastmasters. Once you open yourself up to the possibility of meeting and making new friends, you will be amazed at how the right people start to show up in your life.

FOSTER REAL ACCOUNTABILITY

What do you do once you’ve found your people? How do you deepen those relationships, create meaningful dialogue, and foster real accountability? How do you form your own Truth Club?

It starts with just 1 person. Find someone who will provide the accountability and support you are looking for and who is also open to receiving the same. Once you have that 1 person; it is easy to create truth clubs in all aspects of your life. Find someone who will keep you accountable for getting in shape, or keep you accountable as a parent, or accountable in your faith or spiritual life.

The key to making an accountability partnership work is finding people who genuinely want to see the same type of change and transformation happen in their own lives that you are looking to create in yours.

Fostering real accountability is the most important of the three steps and to foster accountability you have to…

  • DARE TO BE VULNERABLE

                   

Vulnerability and accountability go hand in hand. Presenting a version of yourself that isn’t representative of the way you feel inside won’t help those around you keep you accountable. Eventually, your accountability partners will be able to see when you are putting up that armor and will encourage you to push past that instinct and get to the heart of the matter.

  • GET CLEAR ABOUT YOUR GOALS                

                   

It’s pretty hard to provide accountability if there aren’t any goals or objectives to hold someone accountable to. Make sure that you and the members of your Truth Club are very clear about sharing goals, and that you are diligent about keeping track of not only your own goals but your accountability partners’ goals as well.

                   

  • BE INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR TIME

                   

I’ve had to work on being intentional with my time. It is so easy to get off track, especially when a tough conversation is looming. Make the most of your accountability time with set intentions at the beginning. What is it that you want to get out of your time together? What are you struggling with that you would like help thinking through? Where do you need to be pushed? Where do you need to be encouraged? Asking these type of questions can help set the tone, strip away pretense from the beginning, and open up the conversation.

 

  • CHECK IN REGULARLY

                   

For most of us, relationships take a back seat when life gets crazy, but prioritizing your Truth Club allows you to check in and be held accountable on a regular basis. Checking in with your Truth Club can be as easy as a quick phone call or skype session or a regular Saturday morning walk.

                                       

  • ASK QUESTIONS & PUSH BACK

                   

The most important part of accountability is being able and willing to ask thoughtful and probing questions, and to push-back when necessary. Calling someone out when they act in a way that is not in sync with their goals or beliefs or push someone forward when you see that their own limiting beliefs are holding them back.

When we move out of our comfort zone by speaking the truth, it’s scary, but it is also the point. Everyone needs accountability.Click to Tweet

So go form your own Truth Club because who you surround yourself is who you will become.